"A man
should avoid desires which he can only satisfy with the help of the
other." Jean-Jacques Rousseau
The first question that comes to mind when we read
this sentence is: what do we do with sexual desires as long as they are only
satisfied with others? But in reality we must broaden the content of desire of
which Rousseau speaks. One person does not need the other as a sexual subject
only. He needs a teacher, a doctor, a merchant, a baker, a carpenter, a
blacksmith ... and he needs to love and be loved. He also needs a friend to
reveal his secrets to him, to hear him, to understand him and to relieve him. A
companion is essential in critical moments.
A person can only truly be a human being if they
enter into a relationship with other people. He could not follow Rousseau's
advice without going wild. Doesn't acceptance of his idea lead us to isolation,
unsociability and narcissism? Rousseau's sentence puts us between two difficult
choices: freedom and deprivation or submission and satisfaction. In fact, the
relationship with other people is not so dark.
Libido, according to Freud, is the sexual energy
that pushes us to seek pleasure with others. Libido is a natural drive. Why
does Rousseau call us to avoid the pleasures that are only satisfied with
others? Is there a danger in this tendency if the other person has this
tendency himself? The danger is the loss of freedom. This problem can become
insignificant when the desire of each of the couple is the same. But this
problem becomes thorny when the desire for one turns off while it remains burnt
in the other. Imagine the magnitude and types of issues that a person would
encounter who would stay attached to someone they didn't love.